Dominant Magazine
No Result
View All Result
  • Home
  • Celebrity
  • Culture & Arts
  • Fashion
  • Home & Living
  • Relationships
  • Style & Beauty
  • Weddings
  • Work/Life
  • Home
  • Celebrity
  • Culture & Arts
  • Fashion
  • Home & Living
  • Relationships
  • Style & Beauty
  • Weddings
  • Work/Life
No Result
View All Result
Dominant Magazine
No Result
View All Result

What Frank Ocean’s ‘Thinkin Bout You’ Meant To A Black Queer Boy In The South

Related articles

How Much True Crime TV Is Too Much?

How ’90s Teen Movies Reflected The Real-Life Homophobia Throughout The Decade

This is part of This Made Me, a HuffPost series paying tribute to the formative pop culture in our lives. Read more stories from the series here.

R&B saint Frank Ocean told a lot of lies in his 2012 song “Thinkin Bout You.” His whimsical lyrics cheekily spoke of having beach houses in Idaho and fighter jets he couldn’t fly. But the one lie that struck the most dissonant chord within me was denying his feelings for the man he was in love with, which he later rectified in the song’s chorus.

Advertisement

Ocean’s ode to a life-changing love made me realize that I was trying to tell a similar lie to myself. It also made me reflect more on my sexuality than any piece of art had ever done. With “Thinkin Bout You” marking its 10-year anniversary in 2022, I can’t help but ponder even more how one song changed the entire course of my life and gave me the strength to be someone I thought I could never be.

2012 was one of the most formative years of my life. I was approaching my senior year of college and struggling to figure out which direction to go professionally. I was also having a hard time coming to terms with my sexuality. After a set of tumultuous flings, I was finally in a relationship and experiencing what it was like to give and receive love from a man.

I was happy but hidden. I was ashamed of myself and was struggling to understand emotions that felt natural in a society that said otherwise. Like many Black queer kids raised in the church, I could sense that there were others like me. But I couldn’t see models of young men like me who were completely themselves: unhinged from the shackles of homophobia and dancing in the light of Black queer boy joy.

That lack of representation in my community and within the media (save for the gem “Noah’s Arc”) reinforced my distance from and confusion over an identity that I didn’t know how to navigate. It was as if a broken compass was leading me farther from the true happiness I needed. Unfortunately, that lack of direction drove a wedge between me and my family, my friends, and eventually, the man I had fallen for.

Advertisement

<div class="js-react-hydrator" data-component-name="YouTube" data-component-id="4792" data-component-props="{"itemType":"video","index":8,"contentListType":"embed","code":"

","type":"video","meta":{"url":"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6JHu3b-pbh8","type":"video","version":"1.0","title":"Thinkin Bout You","author":"Frank Ocean – Topic","author_url":"https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCETYiBLjt2v-pcKSgf8pe6g","provider_name":"YouTube","description":"Provided to YouTube by Universal Music Group\n\nThinkin Bout You · Frank Ocean\n\nchannel ORANGE\n\n℗ 2012 The Island Def Jam Music Group\n\nReleased on: 2012-01-01\n\nProducer: Frank Ocean\nProducer, Associated Performer, Keyboards: Shea Taylor\nStudio Personnel, Recording Engineer: Marcos Tovar\nStudio Personnel, Recording Engineer: Jeff Ellis\nStudio Personnel, Asst. Recording Engineer: Paul Meyer\nStudio Personnel, Mixer: Mark ‘Spike’ Stent\nStudio Personnel, Assistant Mixer: Matty Green\nAssociated Performer, Cello: Dave Eggar\nAssociated Performer, Strings: Chuck Palmer\nComposer Lyricist: Shea Taylor\nComposer Lyricist: Lonnie Breaux\n\nAuto-generated by YouTube.","thumbnail_url":"https://i.ytimg.com/vi/6JHu3b-pbh8/maxresdefault.jpg","thumbnail_width":1280,"thumbnail_height":720,"cache_age":86400,"options":{"_start":{"label":"Start from","value":"","placeholder":"ex.: 11, 1m10s"},"_end":{"label":"End on","value":"","placeholder":"ex.: 11, 1m10s"},"_cc_load_policy":{"label":"Closed captions","value":false},"click_to_play":{"label":"Hold load & play until clicked","value":false}}},"fullBleed":false,"flags":[],"enhancements":{},"options":{"theme":"featured","device":"desktop","editionInfo":{"id":"us","name":"U.S.","link":"https://www.huffpost.com","locale":"en_US"},"slideshowAd":{"scriptTags":[],"otherHtml":""},"slideshowEndCard":{"scriptTags":[{"attribs":{},"scriptBody":"\r\n (function(){\r\n var c = document.getElementById(‘taboola-endslate-thumbnails’);\r\n c.id += ‘-‘ + Math.round(Math.random()*1e16);\r\n \r\n var taboolaParams = {\r\n loader: \"//cdn.taboola.com/libtrc/aol-huffingtonpost/loader.js\",\r\n mode: \"thumbnails-b\",\r\n container: c.id,\r\n placement: \"Endslate Thumbnails\",\r\n target_type: \"mix\"\r\n };\r\n \r\n if (typeof window.modulousQueue === \"function\") {\r\n \twindow.modulousQueue.add(function(){ doTaboola(taboolaParams); });\r\n } else {\r\n \tdoTaboola(taboolaParams);\r\n }\r\n }());\r\n"}],"otherHtml":"

"},"isMapi":false,"isAmp":false,"isVideoEntry":false,"isMt":false,"entryId":"6279759ee4b0b7c8f087e7d2","entryTagsList":"music,lgbtq,love,frank-ocean,","sectionSlug":"arts","deptSlug":"entertainment","sectionRedirectUrl":null,"subcategories":"entertainment,black-voices,queer-voices","isWide":true,"headerOverride":null,"noVideoAds":false,"disableFloat":false,"isNative":false,"commercialVideo":{"provider":"custom","site_and_category":"us.arts","package":null},"isHighline":false,"vidibleConfigValues":{"cid":"60afc111dcf87c2cd2f5d8bf","overrides":{"front_page_top_videos":{"desktop":"60b64354b171b7444beaff4d","mobileweb":"60b64354b171b7444beaff4d"},"top_media":{"desktop":"60b8e6bdc5449357a7ada147","mobile":"60b8e701c5449357a7ada2ee","iphone":"60b8e643cdd90620331bb1f6","ipad":"60b8e643cdd90620331bb1f6","androidphone":"60b8e699c5449357a7ada04c","androidtablet":"60b8e699c5449357a7ada04c"},"anthology":{"desktop":"60b8e616cdd90620331bb0ba","mobile":"60b8e671c5449357a7ad9f66","iphone":"60b8e643cdd90620331bb1f6","ipad":"60b8e643cdd90620331bb1f6","androidphone":"60b8e699c5449357a7ada04c","androidtablet":"60b8e699c5449357a7ada04c"},"content":{"desktop":"60b8e616cdd90620331bb0ba","mobile":"60b8e671c5449357a7ad9f66","iphone":"60b8e643cdd90620331bb1f6","ipad":"60b8e643cdd90620331bb1f6","androidphone":"60b8e699c5449357a7ada04c","androidtablet":"60b8e699c5449357a7ada04c"}},"playerUpdates":{"5668ae6ee4b0b5e26955d6a6":"60d2472d9340d7032ad7e443","56aa41bae4b091744c0440d8":"60e869dc7c5f3b17b6741b81","5841b2b5cc52c716ec6e5a7f":"60b8e355cdd90620331ba185","58b5e2b8d85a10302feee895":"60b64316b171b7444beafdb2","58b74698f78ced31417819ae":"60b8e5bec5449357a7ad9b52","58b74ccecebcea57e2c3a3d1":"60b8e5eac5449357a7ad9ca5","58cff690d85a100b9992bc39":"60b8e616cdd90620331bb0ba","58cffb3fb6d9b972a49a3c9d":"60b8e643cdd90620331bb1f6","58cffdd74d96935d7d6ec180":"60b8e671c5449357a7ad9f66","58d03a84f78ced6518eb2fa7":"60b643c82e76be41f112735c","592edf20e0fa177b0c26f7fd":"60b8e699c5449357a7ada04c","5b35266b158f855373e28256":"60b64354b171b7444beaff4d","5c116f29f79c4171d82b7c2a":"60b64440b171b7444beb040b","5c1170fc600c9a697bf0c6b9":"60b646102e76be41f1127ffc","5c47791afa1b317df8ae0c4f":"60b8e6bdc5449357a7ada147","5c477987a6b48b35f164773d":"60b8e701c5449357a7ada2ee","5c4779ee943c3c2a64f28371":"60b8e747cdd90620331bb861","5c477a26fcd67b26879bc7c2":"60b8e788c5449357a7ada67b","5d8921a78c3ae845f366c9b6":"60ae7be5f3a7c13a30417ff9","58b98b00ba82aa39a6534321":"60d0de7c9340d7032ad1146c","58b9d14cb6d9b96c9ec32af3":"60d0dec19340d7032ad115a0","58cff8eccebcea42931e0436":"60d0e005b627221e9d819d44","592edf5de0fa177b0c26f95b":"60d0e38fb627221e9d81adcf","58cff72fd85a100b9992c112":"60d0e447b627221e9d81b0da","56b4d34fe4b022697697c400":"60d2472d9340d7032ad7e443","60b8e4c0c5449357a7ad957d":"60e869dc7c5f3b17b6741b81"}},"connatixConfigValues":{"videoPagePlayer":"f010447b-d244-4111-a314-7b4542ae4145"},"customAmpComponents":[],"ampAssetsUrl":"https://amp.assets.huffpost.com","videoTraits":null,"positionInUnitCounts":{"buzz_head":{"count":0},"buzz_body":{"count":0},"buzz_bottom":{"count":0}},"positionInSubUnitCounts":{"article_body":{"count":5},"before_you_go_slideshow":{"count":0}},"connatixCountsHelper":{"count":0},"buzzfeedTracking":{"context_page_id":"6279759ee4b0b7c8f087e7d2","context_page_type":"buzz","destination":"huffpost","mode":"desktop","page_edition":"en-us"},"cetUnit":"buzz_body"}}”>

[embedded content]

Whenever I fail to understand my own feelings, words and music give me the ability to process things clearly. When a 20-year-old me heard Ocean’s “Thinkin Bout You” and read his accompanying Tumblr note, I felt like I had seen myself reflected in a lyrical mirror for the first time.

“Thinkin Bout You” took different queer canonical elements, like “The Wizard of Oz,” and popular queer topics of that time, like gay marriage, and mixed them with melancholy and fantasy to manifest a song about queer love and longing that resonated within the hearts of many — mine included. When Ocean compared his emotional state to a mess made by a tornado, I knew what he meant, and I knew what it was like to experience love and to long for it in spite of that mess.

At the time, same-gender marriage wasn’t legal in my home state of North Carolina, let alone nationwide. Still, Ocean’s desire to marry the man in his song, implied in his lyrics, conjured images in my head of what that could be like for me.

Along with his Tumblr note, Ocean proclaimed that his first love was a man. Others had their own opinions. But ultimately, through Ocean’s lyrical storytelling, he made room for other Black queer boys like myself to question their sexuality, to explore it without labeling it prematurely, to fall in and long for love, and to be vulnerable about it. His note and song added to the conversation on how queerness doesn’t have to be confined to one thing.

Advertisement

Although there have always been Black queer musicians in the music industry, the scenario that Ocean painted was different. A Black man wedged between the worlds of R&B and hip-hop, genres known for perpetuating homophobia and toxic masculinity, shone through with his moment of vulnerability.

“His song shook the walls of the music industry, echoed throughout society and somehow struck a chord within a Southern Black queer kid searching for understanding.”

“Thinkin Bout You” made room for another conversation on Black queer artistry in the recording industry. While Black queer musicians have brought this conversation to the table before, Ocean’s career-defining song sought to bring more Black queer men in R&B and hip-hop to the table and opened up more doors for other Black queer men to do the same. Now Lil Nas X, Taylor Bennett, Steve Lacy and more exist in the same space, and Ocean plays at least a small part in that.

His song shook the walls of the music industry, echoed throughout society and somehow struck a chord within a Southern Black queer kid searching for understanding. A decade later, Ocean’s emotive song still receives my love.

When I hear Ocean melodically asking the man he loves if he thinks about a future between them, I remember a Black queer boy who wouldn’t dare think so far ahead about the man he loved. I see a boy who needed Ocean’s words to help him make sense of change, stop fixing what wasn’t broken and make the dream of who he could be a reality.

Advertisement

Ten years later, that boy, now a man, finds comfort in the places where vulnerability, softness, queerness and love lie. He now gets to comfortably think about forever with the man he fell in love with in college.

Related…

Previous Post

Shakira And Soccer Star Gerard Pique Call It Quits After More Than A Decade

Next Post

Shatterproof Outdoor Drinkware, For Klutzes And Kids Alike

Related Posts

How Much True Crime TV Is Too Much?
Culture & Arts

How Much True Crime TV Is Too Much?

How ’90s Teen Movies Reflected The Real-Life Homophobia Throughout The Decade
Culture & Arts

How ’90s Teen Movies Reflected The Real-Life Homophobia Throughout The Decade

Kay Rufai Has Created A Safe Space For Black Boy Joy
Culture & Arts

Kay Rufai Has Created A Safe Space For Black Boy Joy

Filmmaker Alika Tengan Is Giving Native Hawaiians A Bigger Spotlight
Culture & Arts

Filmmaker Alika Tengan Is Giving Native Hawaiians A Bigger Spotlight

Katelina Eccleston Is Giving Black Latinas In Reggaeton Their Flowers
Culture & Arts

Katelina Eccleston Is Giving Black Latinas In Reggaeton Their Flowers

How The Tribeca Film Festival Underscored The Resilience of Filmmaking
Culture & Arts

How The Tribeca Film Festival Underscored The Resilience of Filmmaking

TRENDING

Should You Or Shouldn’t You? Experts Dish On At-Home Skin Tag Removal

Should You Or Shouldn’t You? Experts Dish On At-Home Skin Tag Removal

How Much True Crime TV Is Too Much?

How Much True Crime TV Is Too Much?

How ’90s Teen Movies Reflected The Real-Life Homophobia Throughout The Decade

How ’90s Teen Movies Reflected The Real-Life Homophobia Throughout The Decade

Wimbledon Player Comes To Aid Of Fainting Ball Boy With Candy

Wimbledon Player Comes To Aid Of Fainting Ball Boy With Candy

5 Unspoken Job Interview Rules About What You Should Wear

5 Unspoken Job Interview Rules About What You Should Wear

Donations, Chants and Calls For Change: Celebrities React To The End of Roe

Donations, Chants and Calls For Change: Celebrities React To The End of Roe

Here’s How Often You Should Actually Wash Your Face

Here’s How Often You Should Actually Wash Your Face

Kay Rufai Has Created A Safe Space For Black Boy Joy

Kay Rufai Has Created A Safe Space For Black Boy Joy

Chris Daughtry Says He Feels Guilt Over Deaths Of Stepdaughter, Mother

Chris Daughtry Says He Feels Guilt Over Deaths Of Stepdaughter, Mother

How To Save Money Attending A Destination Wedding

How To Save Money Attending A Destination Wedding

  • Advertise with us
  • Disclaimer
  • Privacy Policy
  • Sitemap
  • Terms & Conditions

© 2021 Copyright - All rights reserved.

No Result
View All Result
  • Home
  • Celebrity
  • Culture & Arts
  • Fashion
  • Home & Living
  • Relationships
  • Style & Beauty
  • Weddings
  • Work/Life

© 2021 Copyright - All rights reserved.

This website uses cookies to improve your experience. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish. Cookie settingsACCEPT
Privacy & Cookies Policy

Privacy Overview

This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these cookies, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may have an effect on your browsing experience.
Necessary
Always Enabled
Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. These cookies do not store any personal information.
Non-necessary
Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website.
SAVE & ACCEPT